Saturday, September 18, 2010


I feel I should explain why I haven't posted anything in such a long time.  A dear friend of mine brought it to my attention that she didn't know what was up with me, because I hadn't posted in a while.  I've been thinking a lot about why I haven't posted on my "new" blog in such a long time (since Aug. 24).  I've reflected on it a lot and here's what I've come up with...  Probably the main reason is a bit of depression.  When I'm feeling depressed I don't have a desire to stay in touch with friends.  It seems impossible for me to pick up the phone and call someone, ANYone.  But whenever someone calls me, I always enjoy talking over the phone.  It's a tricky disorder, depression.  It probably transferred over to the blog.  I guess it would take too much effort to post.  I just didn't have the energy/desire.  Depression makes me tired and overwhelmed with the littlest bumps in life.  Personal hygiene takes a vacation for days on end (I'm not proud, I'll admit it).   Financial problems have compounded the feelings of depression.  I'm no stranger to either of these afflictions, I'm not sure why the finances are getting to me now though. 

Another excuse for not "blogging" is being extra-busy.  On September 7th I started homeschooling my oldest daughter who is 7.  Unofficially educating her younger brothers:  ages (almost) 5 and 3.  We've completed two weeks so far and it's been a lot of fun, but a bit of stress for me to be prepared each day.  Props to all the teachers reading this.  You all do a great job teaching those kids!

On top of these reasons, a few weeks ago I first suffered from vertigo.  It was a Saturday afternoon (I remember it well) that I got up from laying on the floor (first on my stomach, then on my back) and felt dizzy (room-spinning) and nauseous.  It was pretty bad.  I laid down (in my bed this time) and slept for a couple hours.  I felt better and by dinner time I had a bit of an appetite.  My symptoms of the vertigo have almost completely gone away.  But I still can't bend over, jump up and down, run or lay down without the room spinning (or maybe it feels like I'm spinning, I can't tell.  There are two different types of vertigo.)  I've already been to the doctor.  She prescribed a medication for the vertigo (and for my depression).  I haven't filled either yet.  It's reassuring to have the prescriptions, just in case. 

After reading my initial paragraph, I realize I should go ahead and get the medicine for the depression already.  I'll do it soon.  Seeing it in "print" makes it a little more real, I guess.  And I know that any friends of mine who do read this blog will probably pressure me if I don't do it on my own.  :O)

My parents are coming to visit on Tuesday.  They are driving down from Illinois.  They are bringing a gently used oven and an antique bed with them (headboard, footboard and rails).  We already have a twin mattress and box springs waiting for them.  We can't wait until they get here.  The kids especially.  The last time we saw "Grandmamma" (my mom insists they call her this instead of the simpler and more common, "Grandma.")  And Grandpa was when they visited in late January.  It seems like a year ago.  Way too long.  I'm not sure how much I'll be online when they're here for a week, who knows?

My clean house status:  not good.  Along with the depression came the feelings of being overwhelmed.  I'd just look at the mess after tucking in the kids and ignore it on my way to bed.  The kitchen got overrun with dirty dishes for a couple weeks.  I spent today getting it cleaned.  It's almost done.  The dining room/my desk area is still trashed.  The boys' room is clean though!  We got the bunkbeds back together, dude!  I've been keeping up with the laundry pretty well.  This past week had lots of beautiful days to put clothes out on the clothesline.  NEWSFLASH:  My same friend who blessed us with the treadmill a couple months ago, called me out of the blue to see if we wanted their gently used washer and dryer.  We are ecstatic about the possibility to have a more reliable washer and dryer.  So, thank you to Jen and also to God.  He keeps amazing me with little things every day!

Glad I got the guts to break my silence (online presence).  I hadn't even been checking Facebook before bed, that's how tired/busy I've been!  See you soon, I hope!

1 comment:

  1. Nice to see you again and GOOD FOR YOU for posting about what you're going through.

    We are all here for you ~ let us know if there is anything we can do for YOU!! :-)


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